TEAM STATS - 2/3 OF THE SEASON DONE

All,

Here are the individual team stats for the season so far:

--------------AB--RUNS--HITS--RBI--HIT%
JASON-----20-----5--------10-----2----50.00
ALLISON--14------2--------6-----0-----42.86
NICK-------17------4--------10-----7----58.82
ERIN-------11-------1--------4------1-----36.36
BERNIE----18-----5--------12-----3-----66.67
KELLEY----11------0--------3------0-----27.27
TYLER-----17------2--------5------0-----29.41
POLLY-----14------2--------9------2-----64.29
SCOT-------16------3--------9------3-----56.25
HEATHER-8------0---------1------1-----12.50
AMISH-----6------2---------2------0-----33.33
KATY--------8------1---------3------0-----37.50
MIKE--------5------0---------0------0-----0.00
LEILA-------12-----0---------6------3-----50.00
EMILY-------7------0---------5------1-----71.43
JESSICA-----9-----0---------4------0----44.44

TOTAL----- 193----27-------89----23----46.11

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK TEAM!!!!

DAMN....THAT REALLY HAPPENED. 2ND LOSS

An eerie fog filled the air last night at Live Oak Field for a match of the Titans. SLF, TLC coming off of a two game winning streak faced off vs. Darlene’s Revenge. Talks of calling the game due to weather were in the air, but after checking with the weather channel, via someones IPhone, the ump said, “Play Ball”! The storied legacy of these two teams had the crowd in a frenzy (yes, the two people that watched the game, and the Cholo B-Ball players that heckled the players). It was one for the ages. Much like Stanfords win over USC, or Dan Steele with Bunny Showers in the great XXX movie ASS POUNDERS XVII – INTO THE DEEP, it was a come from behind win that did SLF in.

It was a slow start for the SLF, TLC starting line-up. Darlenes Revenge was able to get three of the top four kickers out in the top of the first, allowing only one person on base.
The bottom of the first saw a little more action. DR was able to get a man on base early, and he was driven home by a blast to the outfield. This didn’t stop SLF from re-grouping and closing out the inning without any further damage done……

The second saw SLF light up the pitcher like a crack head lighting up a rock. First up was Bernie who crushed a single to somewhere. Yes, somewhere in the field that the other team couldn’t handle. After that there was a pop up fly. Then Tyler came through with another single to advance the runner. Two men on base now, one in scoring position. Next up we saw another pop fly. With two outs, two on, bottom of the second Scot comes up with a stand up double driving two runs in. The inning ended after that, but the damage was done. SLF leading 2 – 1 after one and half innings, but Darlene’s Revenge was able to come back in the bottom of the second and tie the game up. The game was living up to the hype…..

The third inning was quiet for both teams. Two three ups three down, leaving the game tied at 2 going into the fourth.

A quick strike from Nick, and a single from Emily put two people on base. Then Bernie blasts a double sending in the go ahead run. The fourth inning ended SLF 3 DR 2. DR

It was in the fifth that SLF looked to be so far ahead that they would be unstoppable. Scot started off the inning with a Solo Home Run to center field. SLF up 4 – 2. Then Erin gets a double. Pop up for the next batter. Kelley comes up next and gets a screaming single down the third base line bringing Erin all the way home. SLF up 5 – 2. Pop up for the next batter. Polly then comes up and gets another single for the team. The top of 5th ends with another pop up. DR could do nothing in the bottom. Fifth inning ends at 5 -2.

Top of the sixth saw a three up, three down for SLF. The game was still 5 – 2 when the unimaginable happened. Boom, DR scores its first run in a couple of innings. 5 -3 now. Not to worry said SLF, we have seen this before. One out, another single, then another. They started teasing the pitcher with their kicks. Laughing and taunting with each new single. Look at the baby, look at the baby…always judging. Then it happened. A pop up to the pitcher….Ball was caught, two outs, but no the pitch got greedy and tried the Indian Rubber double play at first…..Missed, ball got by the baseman and two runs come in. Look now they said 5 -5. Luckily SLF was able to close out the inning.

Top of seven saw a four up three down for the SLF. The game just got intense. But SLF just didn’t have enough.. DR was able to drive in a run…..Ending the torture, ending the misery.

High Scoring (like Wilt Chamberlain), Invisible Rubbers, and the Bendush Family

The game of the week between SLF, TLC and The Pee Wees lived up to all the hype. It was full of hits, errors, Indian Rubbers, runs, and the occasional curse word. Most analyst predicted The Pee Wees to put up a good fight despite their dismal record, and they did not disappoint. However, the retarded good kicking line up of SLF, TLC was just too much for them in the end. Not even hall of famer Jeremiah “14 toes” Whitingham (Kansas City Ballers Kickball Club 1937) could have saved the Pee Wees from the devastating Offense of SLC, TLC.

The first inning of this high-octane game saw SLF, TLC performing at the highest level of play ever seen in a kickball game….EVER. They were able to blank out the Pee Wees kickers in the top of the first. The bottom of the first saw a total of 9 SLF players up to bat. It all started with Jason, Allison, Nick, Erin, and Bernie reaching base. Those first 5 also counted for 3 RBI’s, and 3 runs. After that, we saw another three batters reach base, Polly got another RBI bringing the score to 4 – 0 at the end of the first.

After what looked to be an insurmountable lead, The Pee Wees were able to capitalize on a two run blast to left field. Unfazed by the thought of a comeback, SLF tighten the defense and allowed no more runs in the top of the 2nd. SLF’s batting order brought the pain again with its own two run blast to right field. Jason crushed the ball sending it about 690 ft deep. It was hit so hard that Jason was able to stop and interview with 1st base correspondent Ezekiel Jenkins….here is the transcript of that conversation:

EJ: So, how does it feel to have crushed the ball so far?
JP: Well, I am here to support my team. I know my role as the ball crusher, and take it seriously. Too bad that pitcher didn’t know what was going on bringing that weak shit.
EJ: Are the rumors true that you have tested positive for Muscle Milk, and Jager Bombs before every single game this year?
JP: Forget those damn tests….Oh, I have to run now.

After the interview Jason was able to make it all the way home. Bringing the score to
6 – 2 at the bottom of the second.

Just when we all thought it couldn’t get any more exciting the Pee Wees were able to pull a three run blast to right field out of there collective asses. On a hit that took a dramatic course in the air (attributed to a freak drop in the barometric pressure at that exact instant), we saw the game get within 1 point.

The game slowed down after three seeing two straight innings of three up, three down for both teams. That is, until SLF came out “swinging” in the bottom of the fifth. This was another inning in which we saw 6 people reach base. The play of the Pee Wees became so bad that the umpire began making up calls. Heather was making a dash for 1st base on a dink towards third, when the pitcher attempted an Indian Rubber, AND MISSED. The Umpire however claimed “to hear the ball hit her”, and ended up calling her out. It is the first ‘Invisible Rubber” in MB league history. Heather was able to drive in a run, making the score 7 – 5.

The game ended in an 8 – 5 win for SLF, TLC. After the nights game, league owners, and commissions voted overwhelmingly to enforce instant replays in cases of voodoo Indian Rubbers. Starting in 2010, a red flag (much like in the NFL) will be thrown by coaches if they want to dispute a call.

All in all, the game was a massacre. The hitting clinic that SLF, TLC was something that hasn’t been seen since Ike, and Tina.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE?

Since when did kickball become so racially charged........Cant we all just play together?

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/14/67-co-ed-sports/

CURRENT KICKBALL STANDINGS

Fresh from the AP, Coaches, and Fans Polls....The Wednesday Night Kickball League Standings

1. DARLENE'S REVENGE: 4 WINS, 0 LOSSES, 0 TIES

2. SLF, TLC: 3 WINS, 1 LOSS, 0 TIES
(Yup, you read that right....Looks like we got a win instead of a tie...holla)

3. PEE WEE'S: 1 WIN, 3 LOSSES, 0 TIES

4. EVOLUTION OF STYLE: 0 WINS, 4 LOSSES, 0 TIES
(Ha, they dont even get credit for the tie)

This looks like a tight race for the number 1 and 2 spots. Keep up the good work.

Can you say INDIAN RUBBER?

Last nights game, under the bright lights of Live Oak Field, saw genius in the form of a kickball team. It had the same excitement that Einstein must have had when he came up with his theory of relativity, when Gary Dahl invented the pet rock, or Burt Reynolds moustache in Smokey and The Bandit.

It all started off with Evolution of Style getting a couple of good hits. Then later in the top of the first they scored a run. This was a not a great start for SLF, TLC. With two outs in the first, one of the speedier girls on EoS rounded third, running to home like a cheetah chasing a young gazelle. Polly threw a laser to Allison, who threw it to Scot, who in the heat of the moment went for what has eluded SLF, TLC all season…..the elusive INDIAN RUBBER…..nope, didn’t get it. EoS goes ahead by two. SLF, TLC was able to escape the first inning with no more damage done. It looked like a bad start to the night.

The bottom of the first saw SLC, TLF’s determination and grit. Jason reached base to start the inning off with a bang. Allison “MVP” came up, and kicked a high fly to second base. The second basewoman for EoS looked to be clearly outmatched by the fly ball, so Jason ran on to second base, but in a moment of pure luck she was able to wrangle the ball to her chest (Arabian Chest Goggle) and come up with the double play. Nick came up next, and got on base. Erin came up with a hit that advanced Nick towards third, and saw the rarely seen slide maneuver implemented. The umpire pulled out his rule book and made sure that he implemented Rule 8 -- *Sliding Rule: No sliding and/or contact with fielder. Penalty – Runner is declared out. For the purpose of safety, base runners are allowed to over run all bases without a penalty (example: running through 1st base). However, if the base runner makes a turn advancing toward the next base, he or she may be tagged out. This ended the first inning, leaving SLF, TLC behind by two with a long way to catch up.

THEN IT HAPPENED. Boom……..Allison “Indian Rubber” Bendush comes up with the first ever SLF, TLC Indian Rubber out. It could arguably be considered the turning point of the game. This ever elusive feat has eluded the team for the entire season. It was a ground ball about 20 feet away from first base, right past the pitcher. Allison leaps over fields the ball….Bernie has shifted over to first to get the force out (THROOOOW MEEEEE THEEEE BALLLL….in slow motion nonetheless), but anybody watching this game could tell it was not going to happen. The determination in Allison’s eyes was unmistakable…..I am going to hit this bitch……BOOOOM…YOU ARE OUT.

The rest of the game went like this…..EoS didn’t do crap. SLF, TLC lit up the ever revolving group of pitchers EoS had lined up. SLF, TLC scored 1 in the 2nd inning, 1 in the 3rd inning, and 2 in the 6th.

PURE GENIUS I tell you. PURE GENIUS

"the kickball set"....

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/27/nyregion/27wars.html?ex=1380168000&en=fe08c2ff0dd50384&ei=5124&partner=digg&exprod=digg

JUST A FEW INTERESTING LINKS

http://www.amazon.com/Tastes-Chicken-Smells-Hoodie-Sweat/dp/B000TDMDXA
weaksauce....doesnt hold a candle to our shirt

http://bags.cafepress.com/item/tastes-like-chicken-smells-like-fish-tote-bag/202246752

http://www.zazzle.com/smells_like_fish_tastes_like_chicken_bumpersticker-128910943346247073

http://www.oceancommotion.org/?p=16

Game 2 Awards

Play o' the game - Emily's "superman" into 1st base

Most underrated moment of game - Polly busting her nut at first base while nothing was apparently going on

Most improved from last game - Jason (no offense but you were not that good last game honey) --- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Outfield MVP - Nick "The Grip" Bruno

Infield MVP - Coach P (no mercy for girl kickers...woo woo)

Sweetest face paint - Professor Li (AKA Mr. Miyagi, AKA Ninja!)

Okay, that's all for this week. Pol and I will be gone next week but bring home another victory!

PURE KICKBALL MAGIC...STILL UNDEFEATED

It was a calm, cool fall evening at Live Oak field for Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken’s second game of the season. No one knew what to expect coming off of last weeks stunning extra innings tie game, but everyone in the stands could tell this was a new team. Just by the looks of it SLF was out for blood. They all donned a new uniform that made the opposing team fear for their kickball lives. If this game was based on uniforms alone, the Pee Wees would have lost 100 to -50, although their tuxedo t-shirts did say they wanted to be formal, but they were there to party too.

The top of the first inning was uneventful to say the least. The Pee Wee’s couldn’t get anything going against the beast-like defense of SLF. Sure, they reached base a couple times, but they had no chance to make it home. The bottom of the first inning, however, was pure kickball magic. Leading off for SLC was Jason “the b-boy”. He ended up kicking a single to somewhere in the field. Something else happened after that which brought up Nick. Nick was able to kick an in the park home run. This brought the score at the end of 1 inning to SLF 2 – Pee Wee’s 0.

The game would pretty much stay locked at this until the top of the third. The Pee Wee’s had runners on first and second with 1 out when a kicked ball in the infield brought up a highly contested call. SLF lucked out with the enforcement of rule: Article 3.14.7, paragraph 39, sentence 43 of Appendix 92…..when a ball is kicked in the infield, and 5 of the defensive teams players all huddle around said ball, it must mean that the runner from first base got hit by the ball (own team Indian Rubber), and it results in a double play. Good thing for SLF that the umpire is well versed in all the rules and regulations.

The bottom of the third saw Jason reach base again on a single to somewhere in the field, Nick got yet another single, and Bernie drove Jason in. This brought the game score to 3 – 0.

The rest of the game went on uneventful on the scoreboard, but nobody can deny that fact that SLF is just better than everybody else. Some of the highlights not listed in the game summary: 1) Polly getting slide tackled by a wildebeest at first base (sorry for partying), 2) Emily getting tripped by a pissed off base bag, 3) Eye Black on every player, 4) Leila going BALLS DEEP, 5) Jason headhunting looking for the teams first Indian Rubber.

These are things that cant be taught in 3rd grade P.E. class. These are signs of true champions, the best of the best.

To sum up let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."

First Victory

nice work team !!!!

A solid performance by everyone yesterday.

Some memorable performance by:

Scot : striking out a DUDE!!!

Jason : For being only 23 and playing like a 30 year old.

Polly: for getting the shit slide out of!!!

Allison: I hope you are all right.  Warm ups can be brutal.

Kellz: for making a great thirst quenching drink!!!!

Liela: for going balls deep multiple times!!!

GO TEAM!!!!